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Miss Awhhsomeee.  Nasyiba Sahari :D 18% dummiesity 17% crapology 14% chimonology 12% cleverbumness 11% stubbornism 9% vaingloriousity |
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talk many many archives
reminisce April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 |
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way out
my lovelies ahmad aisyah(junior) amelina atikah(junior) atiqah(PTPS) atiqah anuar(CSS) ayuni elfin faraway farhana(PTPS) filiana fitri gisela hidayah jasmine kaiqi aka kiiqa(dance camp) kasilah myrah(OBS) nadhirah nadiah priscilla qayyum rara(PTPS) sabrina(PTPS) sarah sohniya suhaila(junior) verlyn zhong ting credits
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darrn.
it's hitting me again.
forget it!
bubye!
I ain't coming back, I promise.
the END.
next year cnfirm got Indonesians in my class :D yeahhooo.
qayyum, stop calling and then hang up and again and again and again.
I can't go out!
as simple as that. sorry.
well, life sucks.
I almost ran away okay, nadh.
so luckily you were at your bro's house or else tht night you would have a runaway freak at ur house.
apparently I know who has been behind it all.
I swear he's gonna pay for it.
idk what's wrong with me.
one moment, I feel so super duper crazy.
if you saw me, you can tell I was.
the next morning I found bruises on myself
and I don't quite rmmber why.
I think I am.
I hope I am.
go call IMH.
I was screaming for smth I want so desperately.
my old family.
just, God, what did I do wrong when I was so young?
I don't deserve all this shit.
and how is it that I've come so far
and now it ain't even half of the pain?
freak, NOWAY.
well, Mama was scolding me and Seha in public,
made me spill hot tea on myself.
I'm 14. yes, not 4.
she hit me in public.
she's just so _______.
idk what to say.
her actions and words are totally incomprehensible.
adios.
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my love for you will always burn.
Fazila && Amirah. hahahah.
Hidup NAS-es!
OMS lor.
Keeping it inside is killing me;
Heya I’m back.
Sorryo for the late update, tngah tahan nafsu to use my money for internet at cc. Some cc computers are such a nuisance, so the previous time I gave up. Ugh. Well life has been full of ups and downs recently, but I put all of those downs on hold. To be dealt with later on. Aite so this post is gonna be all on gooood things so that you guys will feel goooood to see me talk gooood. I feel good~ te ne te ne te ne tet tet!
Are you guys ready for school? Oh shut up about school -.- . I cannot wait, but I have to. Hell yeah.
Apparently there ain’t much of good things right now. Hmmm.
Happy belated 20th birthday to my bro, :) yeahh.
No cca, like no life seyh. Brrr. I also don’t know what to blog about, since I do not seem to have a LIFE. When I suffocate at home, I go out alone, with nowhere in mind. Being at home makes me vulnerable to stupid stuff – as usual, emo -.- , laze-arounds and stuff. I hate it when I wake up late, it just gives me a bad feeling that I have got not much time of the day to do what I want. And guess what.
Today I woke up at 7am, I tried getting back to sleep though, cos apparently it was so COLD, but I could not. I was not sleepy. But I was lazy. Too lazy to get up. So I lazed around in bed till 8.30am and washed up. Being alone at home is fun though, especially in the morning. It has to do with my theory that loneliness is a stress-reliever. But some nights I could not sleep, I had stayed up till at least 3 or 4 in the morning. And when bro was not around, damn it, it sucked real bad. I had sat in front of the computer or the tv or the keyboard all alone in the living room and endured all those stuff by myself. Super duper toot. I hate spending sleepless nights alone though. I crap a lot – I know. Brr. Full of good things meh? Maybe a little. Just make do with it yo, heh. You are reading some crapper’s blog anyway.
Okay tht was a few weeks ago when I was rotting at home.
20th dec. mmm. Just now I sms-ed someone whom I’m not satisfied with and I’m proud of it :D .and know what doggie, I don’t care if I hurt you this time, cos I’ve never done that before and you broke me a million times. I’ve thought it over, someone like you is not worth being in my mind, nor in my heart. Do you have a heart? Na-ah. Drop it baa.
Happy belated 27th birthday to Taufik Batisah. Heh3! He didn’t come to the wedding the other day, but there’s one more coming up :) . He called me and said he’s busy (LOL) and he sent his regards to you guys (0.0) hahahah. Kidding lo. Oh know what.
I won the channel 5 christmas bonanza the other day. Hahah, $200 cold storage vouchers. *applause. I can’t wait to shop for free stuff in the supermarket. Fun3. alright, I’m lazy to talk. :D assalamualaikum. U guys better tc!
BABY I love you and I’ll never let you go,
But if I have to boy I think that you should know
All the love we made can never be erased
And I promise you that you will never be replaced.
But just don’t say you love me, just for the last time,
Cos knowing that you’re lying to yourself hurts real bad.
And oh lil girl2, I’m not done with you.
I’m sorry you met a girl like me. Awwww.
Cos I can’t be bothered with ur popping up here and there.
Sounds wrong ey? Just hearing ur name makes my day go :( boo.So stop talking, stop contacting. In case you don’t know I’m a bitch in my own ways too, unless you never bitched bout me. I may do you tenfold of what you did to me. Grow up girl. Next year da sec three yeah. It’s time for revenge? Nah not really. Slow and steady wins the race. But I don’t have to worry, everyone knows who you are. *evil laughters.
bubye!
update yah.
life has been boring + empty these days.
and oh, it's raining.
pfft.
Filiana, can I not do the quiz?
I'm very lazy liao.
HEHEH.
oh today I lied to someone that I'm sick
just to avoid phone calls and empty messages.
I mean, yea, if my msges exceed I have to pay the amount I exceed lor.
and some ppl may not understand that, so I just said I'm sick and not in the mood.
when the person replied, I felt guilty. hahah. "ohh take care tau. get well soon. if need anything, beep me"
mirror mirror hanging on the wall,
you don't need to tell me
who's the biggest fool of all.
eh?
so sunday I'm going out with tht person.
tht will be the third time in my whole 14 years meeting someone close.
yea, so near yet so far.
okay. let's talk bout my family.
or fam/ily. hahah.
Seha.
she's acting real stupid nowadays.
idk why, she's not in gd terms with Mama,
but why must she always throw her temper to me?
every time we fight, the truth is that I feel sad.
since she started woking, I seldom go jogging,
record some singing and chatting with her,
and take stupid retarded photos with her.
and no matter how harsh my voice and words are,
man, when we fight, I feel like crying.
in Islam, it's a sin if you don't talk to a family member for 3 days ey?
why the sudden change la sis?
I got no one at home to joke with during the hols.
stop being bossy + snobbish + stupid.
aite.
Mama.
she nags a lot, but at least not so terrible la these days.
phew. acim and her kinda fought the other day.
cos Mama lazy to layan his night calls.
and idk la, he also lazy to layan Mama cos she is very the sensitive!
Alhamdulillah?
I don't want a pervertic step-father.
hahahah.
Abang.
idk wht to comment bout him, but I miss him loads.
9th dec, his bday! yeah3.
actually I miss those weeks after he was discharged frm the hospital after the accident.
hahah, real memories. we were in the room and he wanted to pee.
then he said: ABANG NAK KENCING!!!
and me and Seha quickly ran out of the room, laughing.
oh, good times.
Ayah?
he's still not replying.
but I miss him. I feel like talking to him bout my life.
if he's here, would he be proud of me?
I know, he would give me all the support I need.
bt where is he when I'm lonely now?
where does he live right now, I'm not even sure.
bday's 18 dec, but idk how old is he.
oh I found out tht his son's name is Isfarhan.
sometimes, I begin to think about him.
should I count him as a family member too?
in future, will I get the chance to see him
and talk to him like his step-sister? or rather, his sister?
we share the same father.
and when I was 7, I kept telling Ayah tht I want a baby brother or sister.
but now, do I consider tht boy as my brother?
and if I get to know him in future, can he become someone I can care for?
idk, but a part of me wants to see him.
a part of me wants to have someone to call 'adik' and someone to call me 'kakak'.
Ya Allah, temukanlah aku dengan mereka yang ingin ku temui.
okay. complete?
idk my step-mother.
I totally have nothing fun to do at home.
except sitting in front of my keyboard or watching tv.
I havent gt enuf privacy to do journalling yet.
and learning a new piece of music eventually pissed me off.
I've tried studying. just a lil and I'm fcuked up.
hahah. freak.
adios ah.
VOICES from inside.
...every time I close my eyes, all I can think of is you and me.
I feel stupid to have let you go, but things tht are done cannot be undone.
and every time I try to write a letter back to you, I keep on pausing and pausing,
and then I cry. IMY, I swear I fcuking do. if only I could bring the old memories back alive; the laughters we shared, the tears we shed.
can we have the last friendship dance?
BABY,
tell me the truth. do ppl like you actually have feelings?
and ___,
I know ppl like you usually hold a grudge on me.
but I dont fcuking care . say whtever you want,
at least I don't have to entertain any more cock-talkers.
why can't you just frget me and dont disturb my life and my name?
- cos you're a TOOOT. I should have known tht it's true.
just say gdbye and GO. tht's wht I did, I swear. I think you should do tht too.