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Miss Awhhsomeee.  Nasyiba Sahari :D 18% dummiesity 17% crapology 14% chimonology 12% cleverbumness 11% stubbornism 9% vaingloriousity |
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reminisce April 2008 May 2008 June 2008 July 2008 August 2008 September 2008 October 2008 November 2008 December 2008 January 2009 February 2009 March 2009 April 2009 May 2009 June 2009 July 2009 August 2009 September 2009 October 2009 November 2009 December 2009 January 2010 |
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my lovelies ahmad aisyah(junior) amelina atikah(junior) atiqah(PTPS) atiqah anuar(CSS) ayuni elfin faraway farhana(PTPS) filiana fitri gisela hidayah jasmine kaiqi aka kiiqa(dance camp) kasilah myrah(OBS) nadhirah nadiah priscilla qayyum rara(PTPS) sabrina(PTPS) sarah sohniya suhaila(junior) verlyn zhong ting credits
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don't say you love me. ( delayed ! )
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
holarh !update yah.
life has been boring + empty these days.
and oh, it's raining.
pfft.
Filiana, can I not do the quiz?
I'm very lazy liao.
HEHEH.
oh today I lied to someone that I'm sick
just to avoid phone calls and empty messages.
I mean, yea, if my msges exceed I have to pay the amount I exceed lor.
and some ppl may not understand that, so I just said I'm sick and not in the mood.
when the person replied, I felt guilty. hahah. "ohh take care tau. get well soon. if need anything, beep me"
mirror mirror hanging on the wall,
you don't need to tell me
who's the biggest fool of all.
eh?
so sunday I'm going out with tht person.
tht will be the third time in my whole 14 years meeting someone close.
yea, so near yet so far.
okay. let's talk bout my family.
or fam/ily. hahah.
Seha.
she's acting real stupid nowadays.
idk why, she's not in gd terms with Mama,
but why must she always throw her temper to me?
every time we fight, the truth is that I feel sad.
since she started woking, I seldom go jogging,
record some singing and chatting with her,
and take stupid retarded photos with her.
and no matter how harsh my voice and words are,
man, when we fight, I feel like crying.
in Islam, it's a sin if you don't talk to a family member for 3 days ey?
why the sudden change la sis?
I got no one at home to joke with during the hols.
stop being bossy + snobbish + stupid.
aite.
Mama.
she nags a lot, but at least not so terrible la these days.
phew. acim and her kinda fought the other day.
cos Mama lazy to layan his night calls.
and idk la, he also lazy to layan Mama cos she is very the sensitive!
Alhamdulillah?
I don't want a pervertic step-father.
hahahah.
Abang.
idk wht to comment bout him, but I miss him loads.
9th dec, his bday! yeah3.
actually I miss those weeks after he was discharged frm the hospital after the accident.
hahah, real memories. we were in the room and he wanted to pee.
then he said: ABANG NAK KENCING!!!
and me and Seha quickly ran out of the room, laughing.
oh, good times.
Ayah?
he's still not replying.
but I miss him. I feel like talking to him bout my life.
if he's here, would he be proud of me?
I know, he would give me all the support I need.
bt where is he when I'm lonely now?
where does he live right now, I'm not even sure.
bday's 18 dec, but idk how old is he.
oh I found out tht his son's name is Isfarhan.
sometimes, I begin to think about him.
should I count him as a family member too?
in future, will I get the chance to see him
and talk to him like his step-sister? or rather, his sister?
we share the same father.
and when I was 7, I kept telling Ayah tht I want a baby brother or sister.
but now, do I consider tht boy as my brother?
and if I get to know him in future, can he become someone I can care for?
idk, but a part of me wants to see him.
a part of me wants to have someone to call 'adik' and someone to call me 'kakak'.
Ya Allah, temukanlah aku dengan mereka yang ingin ku temui.
okay. complete?
idk my step-mother.
I totally have nothing fun to do at home.
except sitting in front of my keyboard or watching tv.
I havent gt enuf privacy to do journalling yet.
and learning a new piece of music eventually pissed me off.
I've tried studying. just a lil and I'm fcuked up.
hahah. freak.
adios ah.
VOICES from inside.
...every time I close my eyes, all I can think of is you and me.
I feel stupid to have let you go, but things tht are done cannot be undone.
and every time I try to write a letter back to you, I keep on pausing and pausing,
and then I cry. IMY, I swear I fcuking do. if only I could bring the old memories back alive; the laughters we shared, the tears we shed.
can we have the last friendship dance?
BABY,
tell me the truth. do ppl like you actually have feelings?
and ___,
I know ppl like you usually hold a grudge on me.
but I dont fcuking care . say whtever you want,
at least I don't have to entertain any more cock-talkers.
why can't you just frget me and dont disturb my life and my name?
- cos you're a TOOOT. I should have known tht it's true.
just say gdbye and GO. tht's wht I did, I swear. I think you should do tht too.